


How Long We've All Been Waiting

by Shadowlit



Category: Gravity Falls, The Property of Hate
Genre: Canon Compliant, Crossover, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I will be swearing occasionally, I'm Bad At Tagging, i'm trying to make this legitimately long, like >20000 words, mostly - Freeform, see modmad's tumblr for some headcannons, update schedule: who's that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-05-25 17:25:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14981981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowlit/pseuds/Shadowlit
Summary: RGB doesn't pop into our current Hero's home to recruit her. Instead, he ends up in a little backwards town smack in the middle of Oregon. Down there among the redwood trees, there's Fears and other dangers prowling the shadows, and the wall between the world of Make Believe and reality seems thinner than ever.(Alternatively, garbage boy stink man meets the Pines family. Shit hits the fan.)





	1. And So It Begins

"I say..."

The attic is relatively small but big enough for two beds to line the sides. They're as different as night and day- one covered with a pig, sock puppets, and various other girlish trappings, while the other is strewn with grey paper filled with eight-letter words and an ancient computer. There's a girl with a bright pink sweater that's stained blue in the moonlight, and a boy on the other bed with a mess of brown hair and a book.  
In between them, crouching on the triangular window, is a rather dapper man with a test screen TV head. 

"I said, I say..."

The girl is the one to stir first. "Dipper, if you're trying to tell me something, wait till morning."  
Dipper, the boy, just grumbles. A bit of red ink drips down, but RGB tries again. 

"I SAID, I say..."

"Grunkle Stan? Mmmph...." 

TV Head heaves a sigh and facepalms. He climbs down from his perch into the attic, muttering quiet profanities all the while about _not_ working with children, thank you very much.  
His foot lands on a creaky floorboard, and it echoes through the room.  
Dipper opens his eyes. And screams.

Well, in his defense, RGB had turned his brightness down in order to sneak up the shack, and all Dipper sees is a tall, shadowy shape with a 90's TV balanced on top, leaning over him with a dark hand outstretched.  
Mabel's reaction is swift and immediate- she whips out her grappling hook and knocks him across the room with it. Dipper takes a moment to collect himself (it's not every day you see a shadow creature in your room) then turns on the lamp to reveal RGB in all his full desaturated glory, awkwardly sprawled against the old door in a very undignified heap.

"Who are you and what do you want?" demands Mabel, brandishing the grappling hook like a gun. Dipper sits up from the bed and flips madly through the journal (despite having already read it cover to cover), trying to find anything about TVs. Or people with TVs for heads. Anything, really.

Meanwhile, faced with danger, RGB puts his hands up, his color flickering back to normal as he does so. Mabel's grip tightens. That's an issue. His back is against the door, and if she fires that... _thing_ again (calling it a grappling hook is depreciating its power) he's most likely going to be punched through the door.  
And into the hallway. Where he's probably going to be seen by whoever takes care of these kids.

Oh, bother. This is not what he was going for at all.

"Now, let's not be hasty here-" 

"Mabel!" Dipper shoves the open journal into his sister's face. "There's this thing with this guy and this magical place thing-" Mabel gasps loudly at the word magical. "And there's weird stuff there but the Author didn't check it out too much, cause...there was a lock?"

That last question is directed at RGB, who is still sprawled in front of the door. He takes the moment of unguardedness to brush himself off and stand up, unintentionally looming over the two kids. "Well, I'm not surprised. The doors don't just let anyone through after all. Though, I don't suppose you can elaborate on that book and how that author came up there? Besides which, you haven't fulfilled the purpose that I came here for-"  
"oKAY COOL! Can I ask you about fifteen hundred questions about this?" Dipper turns the journal around to reveal a surprisingly detailed sketch of RGB crouched on a rooftop framed with words and observations. His initial impression of Dipper was correct-he was a born bibliophile. And very curious. Which might come in handy _if_ he can get to the reason why he came here. 

RGB heaves an impressive sigh. Looks like he's going to have to go off the script. Again. "So, I suppose introductions are in order?" 

"I'm Mabel, that's Dipper, and you're...?"

"RGB. And I was here to make a deal with you, so I'd rather get on that?"

"RGB? Huh. Cool name. I guess it makes sense too, considering your face...."

"I said I was here to make a deal. Are you even listening to me?" 

"Nope." Mabel thumps onto Dipper's bed, heedless of the papers that flutter up. "Dip-dop, lemme see."

"If I cooperate with your brother, will you listen?" 

"Mmmm, maybe. Actually, I've got some questions for you!"

"I'm looking forward to it."

Meanwhile, Dipper produced a notepad from somewhere on his bed and began rapidly flipping through it. RGB, in spite of himself, walks behind the two children so he can see the book. He hadn't been back in this town for a very long time- not since the Disturbance had occurred over thirty years ago in human time here and damaged the doors. (Make Believe time tended to fluctuate, so it hadn't been thirty years there.)  
And yet...that sketch is undeniably _him_ , as implausible as it seemed. A little drop of purple drips down, followed by yellow. He sighs. Perhaps if he indulges their curiosity, he might be able to convince them to become heroes and (to die, a dark corner of his mind whispers) save the world and all its stories. 

Mabel, surprisingly, is the first to ask.  


"So, why do you drool?"

RGB's test screen curves into a frown. "I don't drool, young lady. They're emotions."  


Dipper's head jerks up on a string. "Emotions?"

"Yes."

"Ooh. Can you use them for stuff?"

"Nothing you could do. In any case, you promised that you would listen to what I had to say?"

"We did?"

RGB shakes his head and mutters a curse about working with children. "Yes, you did. You've also thrown me completely off the script, so good job there." 

Mabel pouts. Dipper is still feverishly scribbling in his little notepad. "So can't you start again? Take it from the top?"

"Hmm...well, I suppose so."

RGB takes his boater's hat off and presses it against his heart. He walks slowly over in front of them and kneels down until he's looking up at the twins. The two's eyes are wide and honest and hopeful, and he almost _almost_ feels bad about this. Then he remembers the darkness and the wars that had been fought and the countless deaths. The world of stories is at stake here, though they don't know it. He has to do this for the sake of everyone. 

"Would you like to be a hero?"


	2. Chapter 2

Mabel lights up with the biggest grin RGB's ever seen on anyone except Madras every once in a while. "YES! ARE WE GOING TO A MAGICAL LAND? "

RGB is...unsure how to handle this. "Ah...yes? In a sense?" 

Mabel's grin, if possible, gets brighter, so much it might light up the room like the Light. Probably. Shouldn't human cheeks hurt from that big of a grin? "OH MY GOD WE'RE GOING TO A MAGICAL LAND AND MEET UNICORNS AND BE HEROES AND BE AWESOME!!!!!" 

He most definitely did not imagine the five exclamation points. 

Dipper heaves a long melodramatic sigh and, after a lengthy pause, states that he's coming too. "If only to make sure Mabel doesn't do something stupid." Which is...fair. Having family can be agony sometimes. (He should know. Dial is his cousin after all.)

As they climb onto the roof, Dipper and Mabel begin bickering about which one was going to do something idiotic first and get themselves hurt, while RGB tunes them out in favor of finding a chimney. Actually, it was a bad idea to learn their names. However, given that he was taking two, he couldn't really call them both Hero. And they'd remember each other's names too, so he wouldn't quite be killing their selves...again. 

And again and again and again and- he is going to stop that train of thought right there, thank you. He knows where he's going with this, and it's nowhere good. Does this house even have a chimney?

Meanwhile, the argument still goes strong. "Well, you're the one who goes poking your nose in everything! I mean, remember that whole author nonsense you've still got going on? And that other time when you accidentally summoned zombies to impress some agents?"

"Yeah, well i'm not the one who tries to touch every sparkly and **fresh** weird thing I find!" 

"Who even uses fresh anymore?"

"Oh. Oops."

"Dipper! Just another reason you shouldn't be coming; your vocabulary!"

"W-well, I-"

Finally, RGB's managed to locate an actual chimney on the mossy roof. Seriously, did the owner ever replace it in the past thirty years? It must drip like a leaky faucet. Unfortunately, the chimney's not steaming or smoking.

Well. That's an issue. 

Dipper finally stops his bickering long enough to look over and see RGB staring at the chimney, color bars turned down.

"What's wrong?" 

RGB, if possible, frowns even further. Damn it, they really needed to get going. The sky was lightening into shades of ocean blue rather than the pitch black sky he would have liked to still be under when he left.  
He couldn't enter the house again, either. The risk was too high. However...they could.

"I have a task for you, as Heroes. There's a fireplace connected to this chimney, correct?"

Dipper shrugs. "Probably?"

"Well, I'm going to need you to light it."

"Wait, what? That's lame," Mabel complains. 

RGB sighs. He's never liked explaining himself, having done it more times than he can count. (He's kidding. He knows the exact number and exactly when he stopped explaining.) "Because I'm going to need it to bring you there."

"Where's there?" asks Mabel.

"You'll see." 

"So...light a fire. Really? That's it?" Dipper's shoulders slump slightly.

"Oh trust me, it's harder than you think." RGB remembers those cold nights spent in the other world, huddled around a fire. Sometimes accompanied, sometimes alone. He strained for hours the first time to get the log to burst into flame.

"Well, why can't you do it yourself?" Dipper says.

RGB sighs and gestures vaguely at himself. "Guess."

"...oh. Grunkle Stan. Right."

"Good job there, bro bro. Definitely the mark of a hero," mutters Mabel.

"Well, in any case, let's go light a fire!" cheers Dipper. RGB frowns at him. This may not have been the best idea. Who knows what they could get up to?

But anyway, it was a good way to test them (and if they lit the house on fire, he could always find another one) and he did need it to get back up. Of course, he could get up without it, but they certainly wouldn't be able to follow. Well, they could, but physical contact is not his forte, and She knows he does his very best to _not_ attach to the Hero. Heroes.

Dammit, this is not a good idea. 

Behind him, Mabel falls into the chimney, screaming. After a second, an "I'M OKAY" echoes up.

 _Definitely_ not a good idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well. you're welcome :D

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: chiliad-lucerna.tumblr.com  
> I don't own either of these (Gravity Falls nor TPoH), and thank you for letting me play in your sandbox. There may or may not be a series made out of this, because the TPoH fanfic list isn't nearly long enough. Also, I fell headfirst into the trash bin and regret nothing.  
> (this is so all over the place i'd apologize but then again)


End file.
